I'm in a long-term ENM relationship with a trans woman and can confirm that it was very helpful for her to be with other trans women. Instead of feeling jealous, I actually feel so happy that she can have these affirming experiences that I can't give her. An interesting side effect of our arrangement is that her social group is comprised almost entirely of trans women, so it's not uncommon for me to be one of a few or the only cis women in a hangout. It's quite eye-opening to be the odd person in out in a situation where I'd otherwise be in the majority. I'll even let them tease me occasionally about being cis (it's always in good fun, never in a mean way). Itt's a unique kind of friendly intimacy to be lightly roasted.
awww this sounds very sweet. Did you read my other articles about C4T? I talk about those sorta friend groups a bit in them. Anyways i’m glad it’s been such a positive experience for you both
Thank you for this essay. It encapsulates a lot of my own fears and concerns about being intimate with someone as a transsexual. The polyamory bit I could take or leave; I don't think it's for me, but if it's right for others, that's no business of mine. One other thing I want to suggest as an area for a deeply vulnerable discussion is how trans folks navigated sex and embodiment in the Before Times.
For me personally, having sex as man, performing the sex act as a man was a deeply dissociative event and one of my deepest fears is that even if I am *not* in the "masculine" sex role, will I still dissociate?
I can't answer that question because even though I am legible to myself and others as a woman, I guess whatever quality that composes sexual desire in others, I still don't have. And I don't think that's a specific *trans* brain worm, that's "an everyone interested in sex" brain worm.
That’s very much worth thinking about! Perhaps I’ll work on something about it. I’m very glad the essay still provides meaning to you despite the central subject being not of concern to you 💕
I'm in a long-term ENM relationship with a trans woman and can confirm that it was very helpful for her to be with other trans women. Instead of feeling jealous, I actually feel so happy that she can have these affirming experiences that I can't give her. An interesting side effect of our arrangement is that her social group is comprised almost entirely of trans women, so it's not uncommon for me to be one of a few or the only cis women in a hangout. It's quite eye-opening to be the odd person in out in a situation where I'd otherwise be in the majority. I'll even let them tease me occasionally about being cis (it's always in good fun, never in a mean way). Itt's a unique kind of friendly intimacy to be lightly roasted.
awww this sounds very sweet. Did you read my other articles about C4T? I talk about those sorta friend groups a bit in them. Anyways i’m glad it’s been such a positive experience for you both
I have not but I intend to!
Thank you for this essay. It encapsulates a lot of my own fears and concerns about being intimate with someone as a transsexual. The polyamory bit I could take or leave; I don't think it's for me, but if it's right for others, that's no business of mine. One other thing I want to suggest as an area for a deeply vulnerable discussion is how trans folks navigated sex and embodiment in the Before Times.
For me personally, having sex as man, performing the sex act as a man was a deeply dissociative event and one of my deepest fears is that even if I am *not* in the "masculine" sex role, will I still dissociate?
I can't answer that question because even though I am legible to myself and others as a woman, I guess whatever quality that composes sexual desire in others, I still don't have. And I don't think that's a specific *trans* brain worm, that's "an everyone interested in sex" brain worm.
That’s very much worth thinking about! Perhaps I’ll work on something about it. I’m very glad the essay still provides meaning to you despite the central subject being not of concern to you 💕